When the girls were little I would sit in their room and wait for them to fall asleep. When they finally decided to give up the fight and enter the mid day slumber, I would tip toe out and sit at the top of the stairs and gaze out the front windows. It was then that the house was quiet and calm. It was in those moments that I could take a breath and be alone with my thoughts. If the day had gone well, I would think Yay me! If it had been a rough day, I would wonder to myself what God thought he was doing when he gave me twins to take care of? Most days I would sit at the top of those stairs too exhausted to walk down them. I would sit and pray that the college neighbor kid would not drive his loud car down the street during naptime or that the elementary school children would not yell and scream while walking home from school. Many times I would sit in "stay at home Mommy meltdown mode" trying to adjust to the chaos of another day and dream about what it would be like when my kids were old enough to be one of those elementary children off at school all day. It still seems strange to me that THAT day is here. Who would have known that the silence I so desperately needed then would seem so awkward to me now. Today as I move about my day doing my typical household chores, I still sometimes stop and sit at the top of the staircase. As I listen to the silence, I still take time to be alone with my thoughts. I am amazed at all that I have accomplished as a Mom. If I had known then what I know now, I would have enjoyed the noise more! Now instead of begging for the silence to continue, I welcome 3:00 when the kids return home and chaos is restored. I give thanks to God for my kids. All 3 of them are fed, clothed, happy, healthy, smart, and beautiful. Now when I sit on the stairs gazing out the front windows, I don't pray for the chaos to end... instead I welcome it!
4 comments:
You are a great Mom!! And how lucky are Mollie, Mackenzie, and Cameron to have you for their Mom. You must have been in a very pensive mood to write such wonderful yet insightful thoughts. We know how it feels to "hear" the silence and we are so glad to have such wonderful grandchildren to sometimes help fill that silence. And for that we are thankful. Love you.
Both you and Greg are amazing parents!! Giving so much of yourselves to your children and family - you will reap wonderful rewards in the coming years
I,too, have had moments like you describe here. I remember wishing I could have "a little piece of quiet" in the hurried days of early child-rearing when the demands were relentless. Then, when the quietness came sometimes it was not as welcome as I thought it would be. I always looked forward to when the door opened and the familiar (and loved) sounds of my family again filled the rooms. Now the sounds of grandchildren are just as sweet during their visits. Indeed, I am thankful for happy, healthy and beautiful grandchildren and their parents!
I have loved following you and Greg as you go about raising your beautiful children. Every child should have such caring parents.
Love, Pat
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